hey %n! the village called, they said they were looking for their idiot

you might be quick but unless you can fly the only thing you got coming is a mouthful of dirt"

You know the old saying "Don't quit your day job"?  Well what do you say to people who work at night?

we stay fresh to death

An apple a day Keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute then screw the fruit.

Sorry, but the AOL customer you are trying to reach has passed away. But we are happy to inform you this account has been paid in full for the next 10 years. Be the 207th member to IM this screen name and his password will be e-mailed directly to you! Contact No.: 92 Please try again later. Thank you. .

you know the world has gone wrong when the best rapper is a white guy the best golfer is a black guy and the three most powerful men are named bush,dick,and colon .

Micheal Jakson is like clorox, he can make whites whiter .

Ill be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerinaltosapaoyabayadoondiba

once a boy asked his dad is God a boy or a girl?¿? his dad said both... then he asked if God was black or white?¿? his dad said both... then he asked is God Michael Jackson?¿? .

Yankey Doddle went to town rideing on his mother every time he hit a bump he got a brand new brother! .

he said that she said that they said that he said that she said that they said he said that she said that they said that he said that she said that they said he said that she said that they said that he said that she said that they said

"George Bush has a little one, Germans usailly have big ones, and priests dont use thiers ..... ..... ..... .... ....Its a last name you dirty little boy or girl!!!"

hav u ben tested?

grab life by the horns

Happiness is like peeing your pants.Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the sensation

 I'm on the toilet, pretending to be a fighter pilot dropping bombs into the ocean.

Screw Eating Lucky Charms, I'm Already Magically Delicious! :-) Breakfast, bbl

I am either...eating food, watching food, poking food, playing with my food, staring intently @ my food, shoving things in my mouth (most likely food), throwing food, cooking food, making food, or enjoying food

I am single handily trying to free the world of hunger,starting with myself.

Teachers Have substitutes why can't I?

I think of class as nap time with background noise

Hey, Im really here. It's just that, there is someone thats on that I'm avioding. So, if you are IM'ing me, and I'm not answering, IT'S YOU!!!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh

 Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce..

I am always confused when people ask me did you sleep good? I always wonder if they want me to say no, I made a few mistakes.

People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

 Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies

Excercise is good for you ... so thats what I'm doing right now... waliking from the computer to the T.V.

I am always confused when people ask me did you sleep good? I always wonder if they want me to say no, I made a few mistakes.

I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalitites, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.

I have an away message up. Think about it

I need you...........I want you............To get offline

I would be sleeping if %n would stop trying to look in my window while I'm changing...

 If I wanted to talk to you, I would have IMed you first.

 I'm temporarily distracted by a shiny object

 The notepad just gives it all away, doesn't it?

Let's talk about rights and lefts...you're right, I left.

My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Serious Mental Problems.

The more you study, the more you learn.
The more you learn the more you know.
The more you know the more you forget.
The more you forget the less you know.

Shakin' the checks off of some dude's NIKEs!! Cause I'm balla!

I tried to sniff coke once.....but the ice cubes got stuck.

A.B.C.D.E.F.G..... Gummy bairs are chaseing me, Red one, yellow one, green one to, the purple one just ate my shoe, ahhh S**t this is the fith time this week!!!!!!! I will get back to you after I cach that little SOB!!!

I'm so busy doing nothing that I can't do anything else.

%n, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and later used against you.

Here am not I. Message leave a back and get I'll u to.Have I dislexia sorry. Nice have day

 Homework is spelled out in 8 letters, so is bullsh*t

Apparently my teachers are having a contest to see who could give out the most homework.

If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!!!